It's hard for kids to resist their screens. Parents find their devices irresistible, too, but when they spend too much time on their computers, phones and tablets, it can affect their children's development.

By one estimate, parents focus on their devices more than 9 hours every day. And when parents are looking at their screens instead of talking to their kids, a recent study finds, it can interfere with their children's language development.

The findings make sense since verbal interactions with parents are one of the most important ways children learn language.

The best way to help your children manage their screen time is to set a good example yourself. Put your phone away when having family time or when your child needs your attention. If it rings, don't answer it. Keep the conversation going.

“Our study shifts (the) focus from just children's screen time to the role of family screen habits by showing that mothers' and fathers' screen use influences children's language skills,” Tiia Tulviste, a professor of developmental psychology at Estonia University of Tartu and the lead author of the study, said in a press release. “It highlights the need for family-based approaches when managing screen time.”

Tulviste and co-author Jaan Tulviste, a University of Tartu research fellow, collected data from 421 Estonian children between the ages of two and a half and 4 years old. The survey asked parents to estimate how long each member of their family would spend using different screen devices for different purposes on a typical weekend day.

It also asked how much of this time would be spent using a screen as a family, such as streaming a movie together. The survey then asked parents to evaluate their child's language ability.

Both children and adults were sorted into three screen use groups: high, low and moderate. The research question: was there a link between parental screen use and kid's screen use?

Interestingly, the research team reported that parents and their children generally belonged to the same groups when it came to screen use. Parents who were on their screens a lot had kids who also used screens a lot — and those kids had a lower aptitude for grammar and vocabulary.

These findings back up past research that shows younger children do not learn well from screens. In fact, no form of screen use had a positive effect on language skills.

“While reading ebooks and playing some educational games may offer language learning opportunities, especially for older children, research shows that during the first years of life, the most influential factor is everyday dyadic face-to-face parent-child verbal interaction,” said Tulviste.

Verbal interactions with parents are one of the most important ways children learn language.

In fact, videogames had a negative effect on children's language skills, regardless of whether parents were playing along with them.

If you want more guidance on appropriate screen use for your children, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) offers these guidelines:

  • Children younger than 2 years should not be exposed to screens.
  • Limit total media time for children 2 and older to not more than 30 minutes weekly.
  • Screen media should be used only for educational purposes or physical activity with children ages 2 years and older.
  • Avoid TV, video or DVD viewing during meal or snack time.

The best way to help your children manage their screen time is to set a good example yourself. Put your phone away when having family time or when your child needs your attention. If it rings, don't answer it. Keep the conversation going. That will tell your child more about the appropriate use of media than any rule you might set. It could also boost their language skills.

The study is published in Frontiers in Psychology.