Most of today's kids are bombarded with all kinds of information at a pretty early age, especially when it comes to sexual matters. Keeping this in mind, parents may mistakenly assume their children know more about puberty than they actually do and choose not to talk to them about it.

That may not be the best approach.

The period of physical maturation during which a person transitions from childhood to adulthood and becomes capable of reproduction is known as puberty.

“We all tend to be a little calmer, a little less anxious, and deal with things better when we know what to expect,”

The process involves a series of physical, hormonal and emotional changes that typically start between 8 to 13 years for girls, and 9 to 14 for boys.

It's a pretty big transition and yet, according to a new C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, over 40 percent of parents reported they approached talking about puberty only when it was prompted by their child.

This was just one of the findings the Mott researchers who conducted the poll gathered in order to discover why so many preteens and tweens seemed unprepared for the natural changes they experience during puberty.

“Our thinking was, how much of that [lack of preparation] might be due to how their parents are approaching the task of talking with them, helping prepare them for puberty,” Sarah Clark, co-director of the poll and a research scientist in the department of pediatrics at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, said in press release.

“We all tend to be a little calmer, a little less anxious, and deal with things better when we know what to expect,” she added. Kids who develop early may become anxious, not understanding changes in themselves. Late developing kids may see some changes in their classmates and wonder “what's wrong with me?”

Without parental talks, children tend to rely on social media or their peers for answers and can be left confused and vulnerable.

The University of Michigan C. S. Mott Children's Hospital Poll was conducted in February, 2025. Over 900 parents with at least one child between the ages 7 and 12 were surveyed. The margin of error was estimated at plus or minus 2 to 5 percentage points.

These are some of the poll's findings:

  • Parents are divided regarding when and how to discuss puberty with their child.
  • One in 5 parents worries about feeling embarrassed and 1 in 6 fears saying the wrong thing.
  • About half of the parents described their approach as proactive, while 2 in 5 said they talk about it when asked and another 5 percent avoid the conversation all together.
  • A quarter of parents with 10-to-12-year-olds say their child doesn't want to discuss puberty
  • A third of parents of 7-to 9-year-olds said they felt their child was too young to understand.
  • Under a third of parents said they felt they had received an adequate talk about puberty from their own parents; while more than a third say they didn't hear a thing about it from their folks.

Don't wait until your child hits a growth spurt or needs to use deodorant. The conversation should begin in elementary school, with basic age-appropriate information.

Without parental talks, children may turn to social media or their peers for answers and be left confused and vulnerable. And because kids these days can learn about all sorts of topics on the Internet, parents need to be more proactive, according to the researchers.

“A lot of the norms on what was shown or talked about on TV were really different [when parents were kids] than they are today,” Clark said. “Back then, parents could maybe feel like they could protect their kid or avoid certain topics — or avoid their kid from encountering certain topics.” That is no longer the situation.

What should parents do? The researchers suggest you not wait until your child hits a growth spurt or needs to use deodorant. The conversation should begin in elementary school, with basic age-appropriate information.

Try to use light-hearted teachable moments, such as a movie scene as an opening, or share your own experiences, the researchers suggest. “Make it kind of funny and not so intense and scary,” Clark said. “You want to leave the door open so kids know they can come to you.”